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But as we found, these numbers vary based on where you live.

Overall, Americans tend to move pretty quickly: nearly half of all engagements occur two years or less into a relationship.

When Beth, one of my better researchers, said that men who were averse to commitment were drawn to her like bees to honey, I gave her a copy of the summary report of my research on “why men marry.” The report showed that the primary reason a man asks one woman to marry and not another is that each woman treats him differently.

After looking it over for about fifteen minutes, Beth returned the report to my desk and told me I was a male chauvinist. I was fond of Beth and trying to help her, so after I recovered, I asked her what made her think that.

Are you factoring the other person into your long-term decisions? You can move across the country to a city you hate because your boyfriend or girlfriend has a job there.

CNN: What characteristics do you see in couples who are "a little bit married"? It's the sense your life together is moving in unison.

My researchers approached this project the same way we had others.She said, “You reinforce the myth that the reason men don’t commit is that the women in their lives do something wrong. In most cases, it’s the man in a relationship who decides he isn’t ready or doesn’t want to get married, and he makes this decision without any help from the woman." After telling Beth that more than three hundred women had worked with me on the marriage research and not one had made the comment she just offered, I apologized. My interviews with single men had shown there were men who would not commit.Beth was also right when she said that if I could help women identify which men were more likely to commit, I would be performing a real service.Just because a couple plays house by cohabitating or taking vacations with each other's families, that doesn't necessarily equate to marriage, Seligson said. Her book, released earlier this year, combines scientific research and interviews with more than 160 couples who are "a little bit married." CNN asked Seligson about these lengthy relationships, cohabitation and advice for couples who are in long-term relationships.The median age of marriage is at a record high (about 26 for women and 28 for men), according to the U. CNN: How do you know when you are "a little bit married"?




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